Where We're Supposed to Be
by hauntedlullabies
Summary: Hank was perfectly content in his own comfort zone: inventions and experiments and keeping to himself. But everything he knows is thrown for a loop when he catches himself feeling a certain way about the one person he'd never thought possible. When the opportunity to make a change presents itself, will he take that leap of faith? /McSummers oneshot/First Class era/


**A/N: Just a little Hank/Alex oneshot I've been meaning to post. All fluff and lime, my loves.**

 **I do have this posted on Archive of Our Own as well, under the same name (just an fyi)**

* * *

Alex Summers was an asshole.

An undeniably attractive one at that, but still an asshole.

And Hank McCoy was _not_ spared from his dickheadedness nor his silky blonde hair and blue eyes and that movie star smile to match. They were always the same. The stereotype of the hot, dumb jock that picked on nerds didn't stray too far from the truth, which was sad. Only for Hank though, really.

The nickname "bozo" was familiar but it was the slightest bit _okay_ since Alex was saying it and his voice had this little shine to it. Maybe Hank was reading too much into it. He was a man of science, after all, he always did his research. But he came to the conclusion that Raven's romance novels were not the best place to do the researching in. They were full of unrealistic, overplayed, heterosexual fantasies that stretched far beyond what really happened in actual life situations, for the sake of entertainment of course. And they certainly did not lack in that department. Hank could confirm this, from the nights spent staying up late underneath the covers with a flashlight just _dying_ to know what happens next. Hank wasn't terribly good at writing but now he appreciated fine literature where necessary.

His little crush made him take up a new hobby. Kind of funny, actually.

Alex was the last person on earth he'd ever want to kiss but his lips looked so soft-

Nevermind. He couldn't think about those types of things. Hank was professional. It was hard not to stare at Alex during breakfast and take in his sculpted features, but he managed to keep his gaze in his soggy cereal. Keeping his head down only resulted in being asked "why the long face, bozo?" and then an annoyed, wise reply of some sort to shut him up. It was a vicious cycle, and really the only time Alex ever said anything to him. Everything else was a form of mockery or the routine "good night" that everyone said to one another every night. How did he end up liking this guy again? Surely Hank wasn't so shallow as to only fall for looks, even though Alex had a jawline for days…

Hank had to be given _some_ credit, it wasn't easy being a closeted homosexual with a horrible crush on the one guy who was the most likely to be straighter than a line. He never let that come in the way of his work, though. Even if he actually did die alone, he'd still be married to biology. Is that as sad as it sounds?

Without Hank, Charles wouldn't have Cerebro and who else was going to fly those planes? He even successfully created a serum to keep mutation under control. Hank knew he was important to Charles and the rest of them, but he wanted to be important to Alex in a different way. He wanted to be his personal top priority, which was truthfully hypocritical due to science being his own. He knows that if he were given even just a chance, things would be different.

He goes to bed that night with a new book from Raven's room and a cup of warm milk. _Tides Will Bring Me Back to You_ is the title of this one. Something about lovers being separated at sea. He was getting down to the very last of her collection, the ones he was least inclined to read, but he's a bit of a perfectionist and couldn't bear the thought of leaving some of the books unread. As he's sitting cross legged on his mattress with his nose buried, he hears rustling and a faint scream.

x

Hank McCoy was a nerd. The biggest and dorkiest poindexter to ever live.

To Alex, at least.

The guy was remarkably intelligent, he had to give him that, but that didn't stop him from being the stereotypical glasses-wearing, soft-spoken, endearing-in-a-way nerd.

There it was.

Was Alex gay? Absolutely. Did he have a thing for Hank? He's not _denying_ it. Would he be open about it? No way in hell.

Even if he was hypothetically loud and proud about his sexuality, he wouldn't let the world know he liked _Hank McCoy._ Even if he was among friends, fellow mutants, he had a reputation! He wasn't ashamed, just a little embarrassed.

He'd be lying if he said he didn't look at Hank quite a bit too. He was always preoccupied with a sciencey activity or something of the like, so it was easy to steal a glance now and then. It wasn't like Hank was unattractive, he's actually pretty damn cute. Maybe Alex always had a little preference for brunettes, or guys that weren't meatheads at least.

He honestly did try his best in school. Academics just don't come easy to him like they do for Hank, and he's thought multiple times to ask for help, but was ultimately too embarrassed. If someone as smart as Hank thought you were stupid, you really were a complete idiot. He knew Hank already viewed him as some dumb jock, and there was no coming back from that. Alex admired his brain a lot more than his crooked smile and deep brown eyes you could get lost in. He swears he does.

Talking to Hank just wasn't easy and always ended up being some sort of comment to pick on the scientist. Even being the confident and popular guy he was, Alex was still too nervous to actually make a move on him. Guys like that are _always_ straight. To be rejected by a total nerd would actually be mortifying, but in his heart he knew it'd hurt more to be rejected by Hank himself, not because of his outward appearance.

He sits on his bed for a bit before turning in for the night. His bed is right next to the window and gives him a view of the backyard. As he gets under his blanket, he twirls his finger and creates a small red tornado, producing a warm red glow. He keeps swirling it before closing his eyes, acting almost as a nightlight. Even with the soothing light, it doesn't take long for the nightmares to creep in on his unconscious mind. Tonight, they're merciless and leave him thrashing and sweaty and calling out.

He sits up with a jolt and heavy breaths forcing their way out of his lungs. His hands are shaking as he hears someone out in the hall. He feels horrible for waking someone up, and he doesn't want anyone to see him like this, not even the professor.

x

Hank slowly walks toward the scream, hearing having been heightened due to his mutation. It leads him to Alex's room, the one place he was hoping it wouldn't turn out to be. He even thought for a second he'd been wrong and it was someone else, but upon approaching the door, he could hear the hyperventilating from where he was. He didn't have the heart to leave him be, so he slowly turned the knob and thrusted the door open.

Alex looks at him, obviously still scared and visibly bothered by the fact that someone was seeing him in that very moment. He's hugging his knees to his chest, forcing himself to tear his eyes away from Hank. The last person he'd want to witness this is standing at his door, so he immediately comes out with a remark, "What are you looking at, bozo?"

Alex was lucky Hank had a heart of gold, he really was. Hank wanted to flip him off and leave, but he just couldn't. He could tell Alex was sensitive right now, and that his body's natural defense was building up walls around himself with rude comments. He lets out a breath and doesn't even roll his eyes.

"Alex come on. Are you alright?" he asks. The blonde is surprised at his genuine concern. He looks at Hank, then the wall in front of him, then shakes his head.

"Just- close the damn door." He does as he's told and lightly pushes it to hear the satisfying "click." The two were now alone in Alex's room, but neither of them would confess the awkward sexual tension. Hank just stays by the door, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Are you alright?" he asks again. Alex's embarrassment shines through his tough guy exterior as he nods quickly.

"Yeah."

"Alex-"

"I said I'm fine! It's nothing," he snaps. Hank knows he's not and doesn't leave because of it. He can tell he's very much bothered and doesn't want to appear that way in front of Hank. It's kind of endearing, actually.

Hank cautiously walks over to his bed, sitting on the edge near his feet. His eyes are locked on his hands in his lap because he's not sure how he's supposed to comfort him. Physical contact such as a back rub or shoulder squeeze would most likely be very inappropriate so he needs to find a way to get through his thick skin by just talking. Although it'd be really nice to give Alex a massage, he refrains. The amount of self-control Hank has is progressively improving.

"Was it a nightmare?"

His question doesn't even need an answer since he already knows it was, but it was the first step in getting Alex to open up.

"Yeah." He's glad he at least got a reply! If they were to sit in silence, Hank would have no idea how to deal with it, and he was the scientist here.

He pushes his glasses up, "What was it about?"

Alex shivers as he remembers it. He doesn't want to remember it but talking about it will help. Even if it's to the guy you're pathetically hardcore crushing on. He glances at Hank for a moment before avoiding his eyes again.

"I keep having these dreams where I kill people. _Innocent,_ people. I see their faces so vividly and I don't even know them. I'm killing so many people with my mutation. I can't control it and I end up hurting Scott and it's so _graphic_ ," Alex explains, running a hand through his hair. He feels ridiculous for telling this to Hank.

"It's so stupid, I mean I'm getting all worked up about it and they're just dreams." Hank looks at him.

"No, Alex it's not stupid." Surprised, he meets his eyes.

"I know how much your mutation bothers you. I mean, you did feel like such a danger that you asked for solitary confinement while you were in prison. I think deep down, everyone's mutation gets to them. Some more than others obviously, but it's not exactly considered normal in our society." He searches Alex's eyes, looking for a sign of comfort or relaxation.

"That's why I created the serum. It helps me be… not, blue."

The little laugh Alex lets out is enough to make Hank's heart beat in the root of his ears and flowers grow in his heart. He'd kill to hear that physical expression of joy again.

"I think you look pretty cool blue, though." Hank blushes.

"Really?"

"Yeah, man. Your mutation is badass." Hank smiles down at his lap.

"I guess everyone's like that. Hating your own mutation while admiring others'. Except for Peter, of course." He scores another soft laugh from Alex and can't believe his luck.

"Very true. I'm just glad Charles helped me control it, because I couldn't before and I felt like I was gonna hurt everyone I cared about. I guess I still feel that way," Alex said, then playfully punched Hank in the shoulder.

"Couldn't of done it without you either, bozo. I really appreciated you making that contraption for me too." "Bozo" all of a sudden sounded like a term of endearment, and not an insult. Hank smiles back at him.

"You're welcome. I was happy to do it." Alex averts his gaze to his knees again before making eye contact with Hank for longer than necessary. There was this pull between them they both felt, but wouldn't dare speak of or act on. The downfall of them both, since neither person was brave enough to take the chance.

"But I think you're right. Every mutant struggles with their powers, to some extent. Even the ones who are better at hiding it." Hank's mind flits to Raven for a moment. She can hide her mutation easily, but she's the one who struggles with it the most. He'd never thought of that before.

"And what about you? How good are you at hiding it?" Alex shrugs.

"I guess now that I can control it, it's a lot better. I seem like a normal guy until red rings start twirling around me like a hula hoop," he says, demonstrating with his finger. He stops, suddenly looking serious.

"I'm one of the lucky ones, honestly. Scott has it way worse, and I worry about him constantly. Sometimes I wish it were me with the laser beams coming out of my eyes and not him." Alex's love for his brother was clearly a major characteristic. Hank was admittedly a bit surprised, but figured if he had his own sibling like Scott, he'd feel the same way. He doesn't know exactly how to respond to this, maybe a pat on the knee?

He doesn't have to, when Alex looks him dead in the eye. "Hank, thank you for helping him."

The brunette is slightly taken aback at being addressed by his name and not "bozo" or "nerd." He can hear the sincerity in his words. He releases a single nervous laugh.

"It was no problem, really. It's my job to-"

"No," he interrupts. "It really means a lot to me that you'd do that for him." It was only after a couple seconds of silent staring that they realized Alex had grabbed Hank's forearm, and he let go.

"Besides," he says, clearing his throat, "You're probably the only one who could've. I've never even heard of Ruby-Quartz before you talked about it. How did you come up with that, man?"

Hank's face was turning bright red at the compliments he was receiving. This conversation was actually legitimate and he liked it. He liked talking to Alex like this, so authentic and reaching past the hostile aura he so often projected. This was the real Alex Summers; caring and honest and possessing such raw emotions that you'd almost want to say he's "only human."

"Chemistry is my second love." Alex laughs at his serious tone.

"What about your first?"

"Biology."

The joyful, harmless laughter warms Hank's heart. For once, Alex isn't making fun of him. He's enjoying his personality. Hank's face is still red and he chuckles nervously too. Afterwards, there isn't much to be said and neither of them know what they could say. They sit in silence, and Hank can feel it increasingly becoming awkward.

Alex looks at Hank, and Hank meets his eyes for a second before their eyes dart away. The scientist finds himself desperately wanting to tell Alex exactly how he feels. He needs to tell him tonight, in this moment. As he sits on the edge of Alex's bed, massaging his hand and fingers, he stops himself before acting on impulse. He feels like he could say it at any moment, but forces self-control down his own throat to prevent scaring him off. What if they had the opportunity to become friends? He'd never live it down if he spilled his guts out for this guy to only be made fun of and then hostilized in return. He'd hate himself for ruining it.

"You know Alex, I uh," he begins, pushing his glasses up. "I'm really fascinated by your mutation. I'd love to run some tests and try and figure out what's letting you create those… red rings, if you don't mind."

Slow but steady, right? Hank felt that a lot was happening in a short span of time, and he didn't want to go too fast. There _was_ a reason that the phrase was "go steady with me" and not "go quickly with me."

"Is this your way of getting me alone, bozo?"

So much for that idea.

"And Scott could come too! You both have similar-"

"No, I don't want Scott to come. I want it to be just us." Alex isn't joking this time. As far as Hank can tell, that is. He's looking at him just _waiting_ for a response and Hank is at a complete loss. Was this a… confession? It couldn't be, could it?

He might as well take the chance, he's feeling a certain type of way tonight and wants nothing more than to get out of this with a cute blonde boyfriend. Alex definitely was trying to put himself out there, and if it was what Hank hoped he was implying, it was all going to be worth it. Hank was never bold when it came to romance.

"I'm glad you said that. I was only inviting Scott to be nice."

 _Goddamnit, McCoy! You blew it- he's gonna take that as a friendship thing and you'll never be anything more with him._

Alex moves the covers away, sliding to sit next to Hank on the edge. "Really?"

 _Shit shit shit_ "Y-yeah. It'd be better to focus on one subject, opposed to two." Alex slumps his shoulders a bit, visibly defeated. Hank couldn't mentally smack himself in the face more. He needed to say something quickly to save what little chance he had left to sweep this boy off of his feet- _something._

"Especially if the subject is an attractive one."

This had Hank feeling like a million bucks. Alex looked at him with a smirk, then down at his own lap. _Nailed it._

The aura in the room seemed to change as Alex turned ever so slightly to look at Hank directly in his eyes. Hank did the same, slowly, and feeling his heart beating in his chest. Alex's eyes were grazing over every inch of him like he was a lion about to devour his prey. He knew exactly what he wanted.

He brushes his hand on Hank's thigh, close to his knee. "And what would you do to me, if I was your test subject?" Lustful and sensual, Alex speaks with his voice low, cautiously treading the waters of new territory. Hank never dares break eye contact.

"I… would first check your vitals. Your blood pressure," he says, lightly touching Alex's upper arm. His hand moves up to gently touch his temple with his finger tips, "Your sense of balance." Then, he places his hand over the left side of his chest. "Your heartbeat."

He lets his palm linger for a moment, silently darting his eyes back and forth between Alex's blue irises. Then, he retracts. Alex isn't saying anything but the scientist can feel his emotions as he looks back at Hank. Hormones and adolescent desire envelope them as they sit too close to one another and breathe the same air.

Hank is at a loss. He's internally freaking out at how this night took such a dramatic turn. Was Alex just messing with him? His prior question reeked of repressed romantic feelings, so Hank decided to rule that possibility out. If it was a prank, he figures Alex would've stopped long before now, before he was touching his thigh. Something tells him that the blonde takes relationships seriously.

Alex slides his hand to Hank's hip, resting low but alluring enough to elicit a visible sign of excitement from him. Hank curses himself for wearing only a tee shirt and boxers to bed. Not that he really needs to hide his feelings for Alex any longer, but he'll admit he's a bit embarrassed. Alex glances down, then up at Hank.

"Hank," he says, slowly. His name in the other's mouth makes it all the more arousing. Alex can see the effect he has on him, being cautious with his advances because he knows Hank and he knows how he works. Has he ever been with a guy? This must be the ideal time to ask, if ever. Alex moves his hand to Hank's upper arm, gingerly caressing it.

"Have you been with a guy before?"

By "been with," did Alex mean just dating, or PG-13 stuff? Hank had kissed boys before, not that many, but he was at least a little bit experienced. As for the blonde, Hank couldn't tell if he was new to this and just acting as if Hank were a girl, or if he actually was attracted to boys too. He smiles slightly.

"I have. Have you?"

Alex returns the gesture, "Exclusively."

Hank's relief is larger than he originally thought. It was reassuring to know Alex knew what he was doing. What exactly were they doing? Hank was trying his best to be confident and not second-guess himself, but this was Alex Summers he was currently on the road to romancing.

"Hank," the blonde says once more, and all at once he's suddenly leaning in and pressing his lips to the other boy's. Alex rests there for a second, to see whether Hank would respond or not. Surprised, he feels movement and softness and wetness and Hank is even surprised himself. The brunet's racing pulse had settled once he had kissed back, and relaxed into the embrace.

Hank could hardly believe it. He was _kissing_ Alex Summers.

Hank needed to put his hands somewhere. Alex's had traveled up to cup Hank's face softly, yet firmly. Hank's arms instinctively snaked around his waist, lightly pulling him in just another inch or so. Alex's lips were smooth and tasted like vanilla. His tongue was pleasant flesh in Hank's mouth, making the kiss heavier as they were quite literally "sucking face."

Hank had to remember to breathe. His heart was beating so fast but he barely paid attention to it. He was focusing on Alex, and Alex only. He focused on just how hard to bite the boy's bottom lip. He gave every bit of his attention to moving his lips in tune with his and slowly snaking his hands up Alex's shirt.

It was wet and delicious and their breathing was noticeable as they pulled away, but kept their faces close. Alex softly caressed Hank's face with his thumbs, smiling at him with genuine happiness.

"Y'know bozo, I'm starting to think you like me," he says, teasing. Hank rolls his eyes, letting out a laugh through his nose before capturing Alex in another quick kiss. The blonde takes his hands away, and Hank does the same. Now that they've had the kiss they'd both been longing for, they weren't too sure on what to do next. Alex rubs the back of his neck.

"So… do you?" Like he was unsure. As if Hank kissing him and touching him were things every pair of straight male friends did to each other at 12 am.

Maybe he wasn't as confident as everyone else thought he was.

Hank had a rose color to his cheeks as he slowly trailed his fingers along Alex's arm, failing to resist the urge to keep touching him. "A lot, actually." Alex's hand was on his lap, palm up.

"You're so cute, you know that?" Alex said, as Hank placed his hand in his, light touches. It was like Alex was suddenly shy, like he was uncharacteristically nervous after making out. Hank leaned in to kiss his cheek.

"You should get some rest." Hank could be such a mother. He cared about everyone here in the house, and always wanted to do the right thing. His drive to help any and everyone who needed it was legitimate and far from fleeting. His sweet personality was really attractive to Alex, along with his height and handsome face. As Hank stood up to leave the room, Alex followed. Upon receiving a confused look, he almost felt too embarrassed to explain.

"You don't… have to leave. If you don't want to." He didn't say anything about being scared, but he didn't have to. Hank knew.

"I'll stay the night, it's okay."

The two settled into Alex's bed. Hank's back was to the wall as Alex laid on the other side, facing in to look at the brunet. He already felt calmer, even safer now that Hank was with him. His unconscious self would even relax at the other's presence.

Hank's glasses were set on the bedside table so that he could rest his head comfortably, and Alex could look into his big brown eyes unsheltered. Neither wanted to sleep yet. They both would rather stay up just a bit longer. The moonlight gave the room a romantic glow, enchanting them both and becoming lost in each other's words.

"Thank you for staying." His voice was barely above a whisper.

"Of course I'd stay." Hank pulls him in closer. Alex's heart flutters, and he's thankful the other can't see his red face in the dark.

"Gay and mutant? We're the minority of the minority here," Alex says, jokingly, but the tiniest bit serious. Hank had never known Alex Summers to worry about such things. Sure, every mutant is self-conscious about their abilities, but Hank figures that once one can completely control them, it's not as bad. But maybe there are many sides to Alex that are beneath the surface, that Hank would love to touch and bring to light. He'd feel so special to be the one to see the real Alex. He already caught a glimpse tonight; who knows just how complex the boy actually was?

"I know, but I don't think that's something to be ashamed of. Raven always talks about being "mutant and proud." I'm proud to be different enough to find something in someone of my same gender. I'm proud to have affection for you, Alex." The blonde smiles, then it disappears.

"I'm proud to like you too, bozo. But, why me?" This side of Alex was so endearing. He was opening up to him with such vulnerability.

"The heart wants what it wants. Plus, you're… very cute."

Alex is visibly flustered at the compliment. It was almost unreal that Hank had this effect on him, but the brunet was _loving_ it.

'But you know, I never thought you of all people would need reassurance." Alex shrugs. Or, as much as he can manage while laying on his side.

"I think everyone's fragile. If you're not broken in one way, you're shattered in another. I'm just… hesitant… to put myself out there, sometimes. I have friends, but my brother is closest to me. I've had boyfriends, but it was all physical. Emotional connection just hasn't ever been a thing for me before. I guess I'm trying to say that… I'm really lucky to have someone who's a mutant too, who understands. And you get it more than anybody." Alex averts his gaze. Hank's heart couldn't beat any harder for this boy. He was almost amazed at how much he had to say, how much he'd really _lived_. Hank found himself falling for him all at once, so quickly, yet the moment seemed so slow and preserving.

"I could say the same for you. Even here, everyone is different from everyone else. But we all have that one thing that binds us all together, that unites us." Hank readjusts on the pillow.

"You and I… we're lucky, I think. We're weirdos in another way, and I think that's really special." Alex hadn't realized his hand was on Hank's side, caressing the skin underneath his shirt in circular motions. It was soft, yet the muscles in his core were hard from training.

"Yeah, I mean kissing another guy is _super_ weird."

"Not any weirder than turning blue," Hank corrected, smiling. Alex smoothed his palm over his leg now, comforting and warm.

"Besides," he continues, "I get this feeling that Charles and Erik can relate to us."`

Alex's eyes widen.

"Oh my god I thought I was the only one."

They laughed together, a little too loudly, a little too infatuated.

The boys took a moment to lie there in silence, calming down, just breathing and being. Blinking was the only thing breaking their eye contact. Normally, Hank would be nervous as all hell in a situation like this, but sharing a bed and body heat with Alex felt like it _should_ be happening. He wasn't nervous or insecure, or even excited. It all felt right.

Upon falling asleep, neither of them even thought about how they were going to explain this all, but that wasn't really a concern. They were happy right now, and that was all that mattered. Hank watched Alex fall asleep before him, making sure he was alright. And when it appeared nothing was haunting him, Hank finally gave in to his lethargy and closed his aching eyes. Who needed books when he could have butterflies in his stomach and and flowers growing in his heart for real?

 _He_ still did, because reading was fun, but a real-life boyfriend was even more special.


End file.
